January 25, 2009
First review: Meier's Sparkling Apple Juice
I've never done one of these before, but there's a first time for everything. Wish me luck, alright?
Today, while out picking up some things for dinner from the Publix up the street with my sister, home from UF (the University of Florida) for the weekend, I happened to notice this unfortunate bottle on the wine aisle's endcap, threatening glassy suicide if someone didn't buy it soon.
Suffice it to say, the bottle ended up in my basket along with two lemons and a gallon of milk (dinner was salad, salmon, rice, and crab cakes). I tossed it in the refrigerator for an hour or two for it to chill, as I prefer my drinks cold. Yes, I know, most wines and other alcoholic beverages are meant to be drank at room temperature, but this isn't wine (obviously). It's just carbonated juice, and the bottle itself says to drink it chilled. Here's the list of ingredients, for conscience's sake:
Ingredients: Pasteurized Apple Juice, Carbon Dioxide, Potassium Metabisulfate and Potassium Sorbate to maintain freshness, no added sweeteners.
Let's get to opening this sucker. Normally, my old, poorly-aging bottle opener always takes two or more valiant efforts to dethrone the damn caps on Martinelli's sparkling juices (its edges are rounding, that says something). I really ought to get a new one, but who buys bottle openers? No one, that's who. You always, always get them for free from business conventions. No business conventions near you to sneak into? Too bad, steal one from a local restaurant. Chili's won't miss one little bottle opener, trust me.
Unlike Martinelli's, Meier's, in their glorious wisdom, uses a threaded cap! It's simply the best damn way to cap sparkling juice I can think of, since I can just seal the bottle back up and throw it back in the 'fridge, knowing that the carbonation will still be present when I need another glass in an hour. Martinelli's expects you to have a cork handy, or an artificial re-corking contraption, both of which I do not have. Threaded caps for the fucking win, goddamn.
Upon opening the bottle you're immediately greeted with the stereotypical hiss and fizz of soda, except quieter. The sounds are seemingly distant and muffled; not as loud as your regular Coke or Dew or whatever caffeinated liver poison you habitually ingest. You can smell the juice from at least two feet away nearly immediately, such is the carbonation. The apple smell was strikingly sharp and sweet, but short-lived. Is this an ill omen, or a warning of potential awesome? Let's see...
Yep, tastes like apples. Sweet on the tip of your tongue like normal juice, but biting down after half a moment on all sides. While I'm not well versed enough in the secret, ancient ways of the apple to tell just what kinds they used (most bottlers use a mix of juices from different apples), I can say with certainty that their choices weren't bad ones.
Having said that, once the juice reaches the back of your tongue, the area most elementary school level books on the "five senses" denote as specialized in "bitter" tastes, you'd be hard pressed to tell this beverage apart from a lightly alcoholic one. Try this: hold the juice near the back of your throat and don't breathe for a moment, then swallow. See? Eh, maybe I'm imagining things or trying too hard. Such is the nature of tripfags. Is my pinky extended far enough for you guys?
The bottle cost about $7, which isn't too bad (same price as Martinelli's most of the time, pretty much Meier's only real competitor). Try it if you see it and have had enough Martinelli's to last you a while. I'll do a head to head, back to back (bottles may be touching, beware of gay) comparison sometime in the future to see if I can discern any immediate difference. Right now I can say definitively that Meier's caps are superior to Martinelli's in every way other than nostalgia.
Note: Those videos up above are both HD, so add &fmt=22 to the ends of their Youtube URLs if you want to see them in their proper quality (completely unnecessary, I know, but my camera's awesome so I like to use it).
